A small tool to view real-world ActivityPub objects as JSON! Enter a URL
or username from Mastodon or a similar service below, and we'll send a
request with
the right
Accept
header
to the server to view the underlying object.
{
"@context": "https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams",
"type": "OrderedCollectionPage",
"orderedItems": [
{
"type": "Announce",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1195147067463311375/entities/urn:activity:1695915029158694921",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1195147067463311375",
"content": "Disabled all the keyboard features and Minds works much better now<br />",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1195147067463311375/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1695915029158694921",
"published": "2024-10-23T20:00:51+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1695914864117026821/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 2636,
"width": 1290
}
],
"source": {
"content": "Disabled all the keyboard features and Minds works much better now\n",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1695982891177086996/activity",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1195147067463311375",
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
]
},
{
"type": "Create",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1695353227744120838",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"content": "Yousif Abo Rabee",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1695353227744120838",
"published": "2024-10-22T06:48:27+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1695353208278355982/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 2048,
"width": 2048
},
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1695353122915880977/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 1469,
"width": 912
},
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1695353144986308622/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 1614,
"width": 905
}
],
"source": {
"content": "Yousif Abo Rabee",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1695353227744120838/activity"
},
{
"type": "Announce",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/763004871006756867/entities/urn:activity:1694803564527882256",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/763004871006756867",
"content": "<a href=\"https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694803564527882256\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694803564527882256</a>",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/763004871006756867/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694803564527882256",
"published": "2024-10-20T18:24:17+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1694803556126691342/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 976,
"width": 758
}
],
"source": {
"content": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694803564527882256",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694950752058871818/activity",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/763004871006756867",
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
]
},
{
"type": "Announce",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/100000000000091314/entities/urn:activity:1694872530558390281",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/100000000000091314",
"content": "David Ricketts shows what happens when a stream of plasma forms inside a magnetic field.<br />[📹 ri_science] <a href=\"https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694872530558390281\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694872530558390281</a>",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/100000000000091314/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694872530558390281",
"published": "2024-10-20T22:58:19+00:00",
"source": {
"content": "David Ricketts shows what happens when a stream of plasma forms inside a magnetic field.\n[📹 ri_science] https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694872530558390281",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694950599482675204/activity",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/100000000000091314",
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
]
},
{
"type": "Create",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694892483424555021",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"content": "One man. Just the bombings he experienced and posted about from late July of last year until he died in late October last year. Before and after October 7 isn’t easy to pick out just by subject matter, is it?<br /><br />His insta: <a href=\"https://www.instagram.com/fuad.kh.ps_/profilecard/?igsh=MXBwejh4c2ZyYWgyYw==\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.instagram.com/fuad.kh.ps_/profilecard/?igsh=MXBwejh4c2ZyYWgyYw==</a>",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694892483424555021",
"published": "2024-10-21T00:17:37+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1694891293815083009/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 2048,
"width": 2048
}
],
"source": {
"content": "One man. Just the bombings he experienced and posted about from late July of last year until he died in late October last year. Before and after October 7 isn’t easy to pick out just by subject matter, is it?\n\nHis insta: https://www.instagram.com/fuad.kh.ps_/profilecard/?igsh=MXBwejh4c2ZyYWgyYw==",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694892483424555021/activity"
},
{
"type": "Create",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694837341715173392",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"content": "<a href=\"https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694837341715173392\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694837341715173392</a>",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694837341715173392",
"published": "2024-10-20T20:38:30+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1694837033471578125/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 1981,
"width": 1242
}
],
"source": {
"content": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694837341715173392",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694837341715173392/activity"
},
{
"type": "Create",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694792131224277004",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"content": "Teen recounts horror after his mom and brother were burned alive by Israeli strike on Gaza hospital<br />The teen in the side by side images posted by <a class=\"u-url mention\" href=\"https://www.minds.com/heal\" target=\"_blank\">@heal</a>.palestine(instagram) is the person in the image in the right. Source:<br /><br /><a href=\"https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/teen-burnt-alive-israeli-strike-gaza-hospital-rcna175595\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/teen-burnt-alive-israeli-strike-gaza-hospital-rcna175595</a><br />",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694792131224277004",
"published": "2024-10-20T17:38:51+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1694791870237904905/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 566,
"width": 1080
}
],
"source": {
"content": "Teen recounts horror after his mom and brother were burned alive by Israeli strike on Gaza hospital\nThe teen in the side by side images posted by @heal.palestine(instagram) is the person in the image in the right. Source:\n\nhttps://www.nbcnews.com/news/world/teen-burnt-alive-israeli-strike-gaza-hospital-rcna175595\n",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694792131224277004/activity"
},
{
"type": "Announce",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/769178839921205256/entities/urn:activity:1690245357587402771",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/769178839921205256",
"content": "<a href=\"https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1690245357587402771\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1690245357587402771</a>",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/769178839921205256/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1690245357587402771",
"published": "2024-10-08T04:31:35+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1690245345465864204/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 1124,
"width": 910
}
],
"source": {
"content": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1690245357587402771",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694709099565944850/activity",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/769178839921205256",
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
]
},
{
"type": "Announce",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1629615662135513089/entities/urn:activity:1632453737580597267",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1629615662135513089",
"content": "I'm still on the fence when it comes to AI in my marketing but...<br />I'm playing around with AI generated images. I really like how this turned out. I was going to put a quote on it but didn't want to pull attention from the image itself. <br /><br />If AI is going to be out there, I might as well take advantage of it. I just don't want to lose my personal touch. Network Marketing is about telling \"your\" story and connecting with people on a very personal level.<br />",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1629615662135513089/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1632453737580597267",
"published": "2024-05-01T17:08:20+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1632451038705356809/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 2048,
"width": 2048
}
],
"source": {
"content": "I'm still on the fence when it comes to AI in my marketing but...\nI'm playing around with AI generated images. I really like how this turned out. I was going to put a quote on it but didn't want to pull attention from the image itself. \n\nIf AI is going to be out there, I might as well take advantage of it. I just don't want to lose my personal touch. Network Marketing is about telling \"your\" story and connecting with people on a very personal level.\n",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694708746971779073/activity",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1629615662135513089",
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
]
},
{
"type": "Create",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694693771423256581",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"content": "<a href=\"https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694693771423256581\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694693771423256581</a>",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694693771423256581",
"published": "2024-10-20T11:08:00+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1694693522612949006/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 2048,
"width": 2048
}
],
"source": {
"content": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694693771423256581",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694693771423256581/activity"
},
{
"type": "Create",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694644559142719495",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"content": "They have now begun rounding everyone up in the North of Gaza, separating the women and girls from the men and boys, and taking the men and boys away. When israel have done this before, the people were put into mass holes and either shot or buried alive, or were taken to a facility where few have been seen again. The few were only those released during the hostage exchanges who were already dying and needed hospice. ",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694644559142719495",
"published": "2024-10-20T07:52:27+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1694644258327236617/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 1336,
"width": 1242
}
],
"source": {
"content": "They have now begun rounding everyone up in the North of Gaza, separating the women and girls from the men and boys, and taking the men and boys away. When israel have done this before, the people were put into mass holes and either shot or buried alive, or were taken to a facility where few have been seen again. The few were only those released during the hostage exchanges who were already dying and needed hospice. ",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694644559142719495/activity"
},
{
"type": "Announce",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/861803194764763138/entities/urn:activity:1691027682973716499",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/861803194764763138",
"content": "Foreigners First",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/861803194764763138/followers"
],
"tag": [],
"url": "https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1691027682973716499",
"published": "2024-10-10T08:20:16+00:00",
"attachment": [
{
"type": "Document",
"url": "https://cdn.minds.com/fs/v1/thumbnail/1691027628930109446/xlarge/",
"mediaType": "image/jpeg",
"height": 714,
"width": 1000
}
],
"source": {
"content": "Foreigners First",
"mediaType": "text/plain"
}
},
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694282153812037634/activity",
"to": [
"https://www.w3.org/ns/activitystreams#Public"
],
"cc": [
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/861803194764763138",
"https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/followers"
]
},
{
"type": "Create",
"actor": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"object": {
"type": "Note",
"id": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950/entities/urn:activity:1694279137784500241",
"attributedTo": "https://www.minds.com/api/activitypub/users/1361020604643282950",
"content": "It is yet another layer of horror to watch over this last year as Bisan left her home for the last time as a joy- and hope-filled young woman, who believed she would be able to live to tell beautiful stories about her beautiful people, and witness, nearly daily, as one layer after another of being witness and victim of unspeakable horror settle into the lines of her face and into the depths of her eyes. <br /><br />It is a horror to watch, holding her face in the palms of my hands almost daily for an entire year, and be able to do nothing but witness the depth of her continual exposure to pain, no matter how much I wish to protect her and hers. <br /><br />It is a horror watch as, regardless of any of my best wishes or intentions or efforts, she now looks out from my screen as someone who sees me, sees the people around me, for everything human that what we are, and worse, for everything human that we are not.<br /><br />We, who at BEST watch mostly-helpless because we do not know how to help, because we have never even done what it would have taken to help protect the rights of our own neighbors, and have accepted the loss of so much of our own humanity in the name of keeping ourselves safe, that we now only know ~how~ to do ~nothing~ to stand against the world our minds, bodies and money are being used to create. And continue to provide those minds and bodies, and produce that money, to create that world. <br /><br />Because if we didn’t, we would suffer. Suffer homelessness and hunger, assault by police, never being able to sleep without the State coming by to move us along or beat us with their nightsticks or shoot us with their guns. <br /><br />And we manage to convince ourselves that what would happen to us if we stopped working in our own countries is equivalent ENOUGH to what Izzy’s neighbors are going through that we can ethically choose to prioritize our own safety over theirs’. Manage to gaslight ourselves into believing that the two experiences are equivalent ~enough~ that the greatest good we can do is to just continue to prevent our ~own~ suffering. <br /><br />Even when it is the money we make for them by continuing to go to work that is directly paying for them to continue enacting these horrors. <br /><br />As though we are not each, individually, deciding that we are willing to continue to provide the money that pays for these things to be done to people each day we walk out our door on our way to work. <br /><br />As though that doesn’t make it an individual choice that each of us is making, daily, to continue to do these horrific things to other people rather than face the consequences of what our government is for ourselves, with all the vulnerability of our own bodies in the face of their relentless energy for violence. <br /><br />As though that choice doesn’t make us monsters surviving only by our willingness to feed our continued existence by consuming the lives of countless others.<br /><br />It has been a horror to recognize myself and the people I love ever more deeply as soul eaters, living only by the pain now etched so deeply into Bisan, our few soft moments gained by the unspeakable nature of hers. <br /><br />It has been a horror to recognize in her someone who does not wish to live another day, has no hope, has seen the worst that we have to offer served on a platter embossed with “U.S.A,” and does not wish to see any more, cannot stand to try to hold any more than she already has…<br /><br />…and yet feels compelled to tell the horrific endings of the stories of her beautiful people beyond the edges of her soul’s will to live, and into the endless darkness that exists past those edges. <br /><br />It is a horror to actively watch it happening to someone and to know that there is no coming back from that place that I’ve found or seen. <br /><br />There is only a half-life beyond that edge. <br /><br />And I’ve been watching her die daily, spilling the lifeblood of her soul into the palms of my hands to try to make sure she tells what has been done to her beautiful people. <br /><br />And I can do nothing with it. <br /><br />Except grieve here, among strangers, because I can’t tell the people I love that I have come to know us all as monsters.<br /><br />Because they still have will to live, and I’m supposed to. <br /><br /><br />I’m supposed to be able to come out of the half-life to give the people I love the happiness that comes from knowing that not all who wander stay lost. <br /><br />But many do.<br /><br />And I think I may be one of them.<br /><br />I feel forced to try to hide it, because I live among my fellow loving, kind, thoughtful, helpful, soul-eaters. <br /><br />Soul eaters who are just living their own lives as best as they know how, <br />and don’t know what they are, and would be just as lost as I am for what to do about it even if they were. <br /><br />I can’t tell them, first, because no one can be told the truth of themselves, they have to stumble into it for themselves. <br /><br />And I can’t tell them, second, because I can’t imagine purposely pulling someone into the half-life with me. Even if it’s their burden to carry with me.<br /><br />And so I let it happen to Bisan instead.<br /><br />Which makes me a monster two times over.<br /><br />And yet, I live.<br /><br />I wish I didn’t have to. <br /><br />But if Bisan can live to tell the stories of her beautiful people’s horrific endings, I can live to become someone who CAN tell the stories of my horrific people to my horrific people. I can live to become someone who can place even more horrific things on the shoulders of those I love who already carry too much, because those horrors are still theirs and mine to carry together. <br /><br />I can become someone who has learned that being willing to share the weight of what I see IS love, of both those who have been subject to the unrelenting violence of our State, and my own friends and family. I can become someone who knows that it is love because it’s true, even if we all end up lost in the half-life together.<br /><br />Because at least that is what is real.<br /><br />And you can start building again on what is real. <a href=\"https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694279137784500241\" target=\"_blank\">https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694279137784500241</a>",
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"content": "It is yet another layer of horror to watch over this last year as Bisan left her home for the last time as a joy- and hope-filled young woman, who believed she would be able to live to tell beautiful stories about her beautiful people, and witness, nearly daily, as one layer after another of being witness and victim of unspeakable horror settle into the lines of her face and into the depths of her eyes. \n\nIt is a horror to watch, holding her face in the palms of my hands almost daily for an entire year, and be able to do nothing but witness the depth of her continual exposure to pain, no matter how much I wish to protect her and hers. \n\nIt is a horror watch as, regardless of any of my best wishes or intentions or efforts, she now looks out from my screen as someone who sees me, sees the people around me, for everything human that what we are, and worse, for everything human that we are not.\n\nWe, who at BEST watch mostly-helpless because we do not know how to help, because we have never even done what it would have taken to help protect the rights of our own neighbors, and have accepted the loss of so much of our own humanity in the name of keeping ourselves safe, that we now only know ~how~ to do ~nothing~ to stand against the world our minds, bodies and money are being used to create. And continue to provide those minds and bodies, and produce that money, to create that world. \n\nBecause if we didn’t, we would suffer. Suffer homelessness and hunger, assault by police, never being able to sleep without the State coming by to move us along or beat us with their nightsticks or shoot us with their guns. \n\nAnd we manage to convince ourselves that what would happen to us if we stopped working in our own countries is equivalent ENOUGH to what Izzy’s neighbors are going through that we can ethically choose to prioritize our own safety over theirs’. Manage to gaslight ourselves into believing that the two experiences are equivalent ~enough~ that the greatest good we can do is to just continue to prevent our ~own~ suffering. \n\nEven when it is the money we make for them by continuing to go to work that is directly paying for them to continue enacting these horrors. \n\nAs though we are not each, individually, deciding that we are willing to continue to provide the money that pays for these things to be done to people each day we walk out our door on our way to work. \n\nAs though that doesn’t make it an individual choice that each of us is making, daily, to continue to do these horrific things to other people rather than face the consequences of what our government is for ourselves, with all the vulnerability of our own bodies in the face of their relentless energy for violence. \n\nAs though that choice doesn’t make us monsters surviving only by our willingness to feed our continued existence by consuming the lives of countless others.\n\nIt has been a horror to recognize myself and the people I love ever more deeply as soul eaters, living only by the pain now etched so deeply into Bisan, our few soft moments gained by the unspeakable nature of hers. \n\nIt has been a horror to recognize in her someone who does not wish to live another day, has no hope, has seen the worst that we have to offer served on a platter embossed with “U.S.A,” and does not wish to see any more, cannot stand to try to hold any more than she already has…\n\n…and yet feels compelled to tell the horrific endings of the stories of her beautiful people beyond the edges of her soul’s will to live, and into the endless darkness that exists past those edges. \n\nIt is a horror to actively watch it happening to someone and to know that there is no coming back from that place that I’ve found or seen. \n\nThere is only a half-life beyond that edge. \n\nAnd I’ve been watching her die daily, spilling the lifeblood of her soul into the palms of my hands to try to make sure she tells what has been done to her beautiful people. \n\nAnd I can do nothing with it. \n\nExcept grieve here, among strangers, because I can’t tell the people I love that I have come to know us all as monsters.\n\nBecause they still have will to live, and I’m supposed to. \n\n\nI’m supposed to be able to come out of the half-life to give the people I love the happiness that comes from knowing that not all who wander stay lost. \n\nBut many do.\n\nAnd I think I may be one of them.\n\nI feel forced to try to hide it, because I live among my fellow loving, kind, thoughtful, helpful, soul-eaters. \n\nSoul eaters who are just living their own lives as best as they know how, \nand don’t know what they are, and would be just as lost as I am for what to do about it even if they were. \n\nI can’t tell them, first, because no one can be told the truth of themselves, they have to stumble into it for themselves. \n\nAnd I can’t tell them, second, because I can’t imagine purposely pulling someone into the half-life with me. Even if it’s their burden to carry with me.\n\nAnd so I let it happen to Bisan instead.\n\nWhich makes me a monster two times over.\n\nAnd yet, I live.\n\nI wish I didn’t have to. \n\nBut if Bisan can live to tell the stories of her beautiful people’s horrific endings, I can live to become someone who CAN tell the stories of my horrific people to my horrific people. I can live to become someone who can place even more horrific things on the shoulders of those I love who already carry too much, because those horrors are still theirs and mine to carry together. \n\nI can become someone who has learned that being willing to share the weight of what I see IS love, of both those who have been subject to the unrelenting violence of our State, and my own friends and family. I can become someone who knows that it is love because it’s true, even if we all end up lost in the half-life together.\n\nBecause at least that is what is real.\n\nAnd you can start building again on what is real. https://www.minds.com/newsfeed/1694279137784500241",
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