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to the server to view the underlying object.
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"content": "Trans femme "male socialization" is an assertion that has been thoroughly debunked, repeatedly over the years, by trans women coming together to speak about our experiences amongst each other.<br/><br/>Like many trans women, initially I learned to think of my experiences as "male socialization", that this was being accountable, that this was being reasonable, that this was being feminist - despite how dramatically different (and dramatically worse, in a gendered way) my experiences of life were from any man I had ever met, much less grown up with. But, I shut that voice down, I down played it, I rationalized it away, and no matter how much learning about feminism or learning to analyze patriarchy or learning to reflect on women's experiences and no matter how much those understandings made better sense of what was happening to me (and the trans women I knew), I kept it private, knew better than to presume, knew it was dangerous to assert. <br/>Besides, isn't that its own essentialism? <br/>Isn't the reality of socialization and gender just about how you are perceived? <br/>And what about trans femmes who didn't feel that way, wasn't that invalidating them?<br/>Wasn't this making its own gatekeeping? <br/><br/>Do you know what first planted the seed in my mind that something was wrong with the narrative given? <br/>It was a skin-crawling experience of being in a big "feminist" "queer" "radical" circle of conversation where "amab" "male socialized" people of all genders were to come together to talk about "our" "experiences of male socialization" and "hold each other to account and learn to be accountable" in a "fishbowl style" where the conversation would happen "amongst the privileged" surrounded by "afab female socialized people". Even tho seemingly all the trans femme people there bought into this idea wholeheartedly, it was glaringly (blisteringly) obvious that this "male socialization" and "learned male entitlement" we were both talking about was worlds apart. There was simply no comparison; the words were the same, but the examples were totally askew. The difference between actual entitlement and being under constant alienated pressure and being punished in gendered ways for slipping up at the invisible expectations , and the resultant total social alienation, was super apparent, super distinct. I still recall, decades later, feeling dizzy as these conversations really began to get going in earnest - even other people started to get uncomfortable with how the conversation was progressing- clearly, these trans women were not "owning up" well enough, because they're experiences were too different. This lead to a cis man and a cis woman loudly interrupting the conversation to remind trans femmes that they needed to be more "serious" about this, to the murmurs of agreement.<br/> It was simply unacceptable to them that the farce at the heart of this "queer feminist exercise" was innocently exposed as empty and false. It was irrelevant that the trans femme people there were taking it entirely seriously, were offering up lives full of fucked up shit on display for shared analysis, just having experiences that were fundamentally different- we needed to learn to ignore that, for safety, for everyone's sake. I wasn't the only one who walked away from that entire day feeling seriously disturbed. And guilty. And with no answers.<br/><br/>How deeply misguided that approach was would take years for me to process, but what made it most clear was simply taking to time to talk intentionally with other trans women about these narratives, about grappling with the serious complexities around the experience of the closet, about how traumatizing experiences and internalized perceptions were framed as the same as actual entitlement, about not knowing how to process these things before one is out, and about how these were insufficient for making sense of our lives, how we had seen the harm done to other women and whole communities by this being perpetuated, and broadening that conversation to include cis women in making sense of this, how much more willing many were to point out cis women and trans people who just had an agenda, who were just full of shit. Conversations like these have played out again and again, yet despite however much "personal experiences" count for making sense of the world, these ones don't. And they will always bring out whatever freshly out girl they have played into believing all of this uncritically as proof that this is all just some conspiracy<br/><br/>The main reasons "trans women are male socialized" discourse continues to exist is simple to understand: it perpetuates due to the benefits it brings. It is there for keeping trans women in a perpetual indebted dynamic and therefore subservient to any sort of coercion, as a means justifying and excusing abuse, as a means to dismiss caring about a life of trauma, to justify rendering trans women disposable, as an easy win to prop up "community figures" who thrive on finding new people to condemn, to always keep refocusing away from confronting the abuse of actual men to fixating on trans women (the whipping girl dynamic), to keep the "good ones" who bought in to this narrative secure in their place in community (for now), preventing the basic feminist autonomy that comes from being able to honestly and systematically reflect on your own experiences, preventing the formation of solidarity amongst cis and trans women, preventing solidarity emerging amongst trans women, to keep us always suspicious of each other, to keep the fractures between those who can and cannot access transition or passing or social assimilation or coming out, to keep us dependent. <br/><br/>All of which amounts to one central function: preventing the emergence of trans feminist consciousness",
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"content": "Trans femme "male socialization" is an assertion that has been thoroughly debunked, repeatedly over the years, by trans women coming together to speak about our experiences amongst each other.<br/><br/>Like many trans women, initially I learned to think of my experiences as "male socialization", that this was being accountable, that this was being reasonable, that this was being feminist - despite how dramatically different (and dramatically worse, in a gendered way) my experiences of life were from any man I had ever met, much less grown up with. But, I shut that voice down, I down played it, I rationalized it away, and no matter how much there was to learned about feminism or learned to analyze patriarchy or learned to reflect on women's experiences and no matter how much that made sense of what was happening to me and trans women I knew, I kept it private, knew better than to presume, knew it was dangerous to assert. Besides, isn't that its own essentialism? Isn't the real socialization and gender just how you are perceived? And what about trans femmes who didn't feel that way, wasn't that invalidating them? Wasn't this making its own gatekeeping? <br/><br/>Do you know what first planted the seed in my mind that something was wrong with the narrative given? It was a skin-crawling experience of being in a "feminist" "queer" "radical" circles of conversational where "amab" "male socialized" people of all genders were to come together to talk about "our" "experiences of male socialization" and "hold each other to account and learn to be accountable" in a "fishbowl style" where the conversation would happen surrounded by "afab female socialized people". Even tho seemingly all the trans femme people there bought into this idea wholeheartedly, it was glaringly (blisteringly) obvious that this "male socialization" and "learned male entitlement" we were both talking about was worlds apart. There was simply no comparison the words were the same but the examples were totally askew. The difference between actual entitlement and being under constant alienated pressure and being punished in gendered ways for slipping up at the invisible expectations , ans the resultant tottal alienation, was super apparent. I still recall, decades later, feeling dizzy as these conversations really began to get going - even other people started to get uncomfortable with how the conversation was going- clearly, these trans women were not "owning up" well enough, because they're experiences were different. This lead to a cis man and a cis woman loudly interrupting the conversation to remind trans femmes that they needed to be more "serious" about this, to the murmurs of agreement. It was simply unacceptable to them that the farce at the heart of this "queer feminist exercise" was innocently exposed as empty and false. It was irrelevant that people were taking it seriously, just having experiences that were different- we needed to learn to ignore that, for everyones sake. I wasn't the only one who walked away from that entire day feeling seriously disturbed. And guilty. And with no answers.<br/><br/>How deeply misguided that approach was would take years for me to process, but what made it most clear was simply taking to time to talk intentionally with other trans women about these narratives, about grappling with the serious complexities around the experience of the closet, about how traumatizing experiences and internalized perceptions were framed as the same as actual entitlement, about not knowing how to process these things before one is out, and about how these were insufficient for making sense of our lives, how we had seen the harm done to other women and whole communities by this being perpetuated, and broadening that conversation to include cis women in making sense of this, how much more willing many were to point out cis women and trans people who just had an agenda, who were just full of shit. Conversations like these have played out again and again, yet despite however much "personal experiences" count for making sense of the world, these ones don't. And they will always bring out whatever freshly out girl they have played into believing all of this uncritically as proof that this is all just some conspiracy<br/><br/>The main reasons "trans women are male socialized" discourse continues to exist is simple to understand: it perpetuates for the benifit it brings. It is there for keeping trans women in a perpetual indebted dynamic and therefore subservient to any sort of coercion, as a means justifying and excusing abuse, as a means to dismiss caring about a life of truama, to justify rendering trans women disposable, as an easy win to prop up "community figures" who thrive on finding new people to condemn, to always keep refocusing away from confronting the abuse of actual men to fixating on trans women (the whipping girl dynamic), to keep the "good ones" who bought in to this narrative secure in their place in community (for now), preventing the basic feminist autonomy that comes from being able to honestly and systematically reflect on your own experiences, preventing the formation of solidarity amongst cis and trans women, preventing solidarity emerging amongst trans women, to keep us always suspicious of each other, to keep us dependent. <br/><br/>All of which amounts to one thing: preventing the emergence of trans feminist conscienceness",
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"content": "Trans femme \"male socialization\" is an assertion that has been thoroughly debunked, repeatedly over the years, by trans women coming together to speak about our experiences amongst each other.\n\nLike many trans women, initially I learned to think of my experiences as \"male socialization\", that this was being accountable, that this was being reasonable, that this was being feminist - despite how dramatically different (and dramatically worse, in a gendered way) my experiences of life were from any man I had ever met, much less grown up with. But, I shut that voice down, I down played it, I rationalized it away, and no matter how much there was to learned about feminism or learned to analyze patriarchy or learned to reflect on women's experiences and no matter how much that made sense of what was happening to me and trans women I knew, I kept it private, knew better than to presume, knew it was dangerous to assert. Besides, isn't that its own essentialism? Isn't the real socialization and gender just how you are perceived? And what about trans femmes who didn't feel that way, wasn't that invalidating them? Wasn't this making its own gatekeeping? \n\nDo you know what first planted the seed in my mind that something was wrong with the narrative given? It was a skin-crawling experience of being in a \"feminist\" \"queer\" \"radical\" circles of conversational where \"amab\" \"male socialized\" people of all genders were to come together to talk about \"our\" \"experiences of male socialization\" and \"hold each other to account and learn to be accountable\" in a \"fishbowl style\" where the conversation would happen surrounded by \"afab female socialized people\". Even tho seemingly all the trans femme people there bought into this idea wholeheartedly, it was glaringly (blisteringly) obvious that this \"male socialization\" and \"learned male entitlement\" we were both talking about was worlds apart. There was simply no comparison the words were the same but the examples were totally askew. The difference between actual entitlement and being under constant alienated pressure and being punished in gendered ways for slipping up at the invisible expectations , ans the resultant tottal alienation, was super apparent. I still recall, decades later, feeling dizzy as these conversations really began to get going - even other people started to get uncomfortable with how the conversation was going- clearly, these trans women were not \"owning up\" well enough, because they're experiences were different. This lead to a cis man and a cis woman loudly interrupting the conversation to remind trans femmes that they needed to be more \"serious\" about this, to the murmurs of agreement. It was simply unacceptable to them that the farce at the heart of this \"queer feminist exercise\" was innocently exposed as empty and false. It was irrelevant that people were taking it seriously, just having experiences that were different- we needed to learn to ignore that, for everyones sake. I wasn't the only one who walked away from that entire day feeling seriously disturbed. And guilty. And with no answers.\n\nHow deeply misguided that approach was would take years for me to process, but what made it most clear was simply taking to time to talk intentionally with other trans women about these narratives, about grappling with the serious complexities around the experience of the closet, about how traumatizing experiences and internalized perceptions were framed as the same as actual entitlement, about not knowing how to process these things before one is out, and about how these were insufficient for making sense of our lives, how we had seen the harm done to other women and whole communities by this being perpetuated, and broadening that conversation to include cis women in making sense of this, how much more willing many were to point out cis women and trans people who just had an agenda, who were just full of shit. Conversations like these have played out again and again, yet despite however much \"personal experiences\" count for making sense of the world, these ones don't. And they will always bring out whatever freshly out girl they have played into believing all of this uncritically as proof that this is all just some conspiracy\n\nThe main reasons \"trans women are male socialized\" discourse continues to exist is simple to understand: it perpetuates for the benifit it brings. It is there for keeping trans women in a perpetual indebted dynamic and therefore subservient to any sort of coercion, as a means justifying and excusing abuse, as a means to dismiss caring about a life of truama, to justify rendering trans women disposable, as an easy win to prop up \"community figures\" who thrive on finding new people to condemn, to always keep refocusing away from confronting the abuse of actual men to fixating on trans women (the whipping girl dynamic), to keep the \"good ones\" who bought in to this narrative secure in their place in community (for now), preventing the basic feminist autonomy that comes from being able to honestly and systematically reflect on your own experiences, preventing the formation of solidarity amongst cis and trans women, preventing solidarity emerging amongst trans women, to keep us always suspicious of each other, to keep us dependent. \n\nAll of which amounts to one thing: preventing the emergence of trans feminist conscienceness",
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"content": "Trans femme \"male socialization\" is an assertion that has been thoroughly debunked, repeatedly over the years, by trans women coming together to speak about our experiences amongst each other.\r\n\r\nLike many trans women, initially I learned to think of my experiences as \"male socialization\", that this was being accountable, that this was being reasonable, that this was being feminist - despite how dramatically different (and dramatically worse, in a gendered way) my experiences of life were from any man I had ever met, much less grown up with. But, I shut that voice down, I down played it, I rationalized it away, and no matter how much learning about feminism or learning to analyze patriarchy or learning to reflect on women's experiences and no matter how much those understandings made better sense of what was happening to me (and the trans women I knew), I kept it private, knew better than to presume, knew it was dangerous to assert. \r\nBesides, isn't that its own essentialism? \r\nIsn't the reality of socialization and gender just about how you are perceived? \r\nAnd what about trans femmes who didn't feel that way, wasn't that invalidating them?\r\nWasn't this making its own gatekeeping? \r\n\r\nDo you know what first planted the seed in my mind that something was wrong with the narrative given? \r\nIt was a skin-crawling experience of being in a big \"feminist\" \"queer\" \"radical\" circle of conversation where \"amab\" \"male socialized\" people of all genders were to come together to talk about \"our\" \"experiences of male socialization\" and \"hold each other to account and learn to be accountable\" in a \"fishbowl style\" where the conversation would happen \"amongst the privileged\" surrounded by \"afab female socialized people\". Even tho seemingly all the trans femme people there bought into this idea wholeheartedly, it was glaringly (blisteringly) obvious that this \"male socialization\" and \"learned male entitlement\" we were both talking about was worlds apart. There was simply no comparison; the words were the same, but the examples were totally askew. The difference between actual entitlement and being under constant alienated pressure and being punished in gendered ways for slipping up at the invisible expectations , and the resultant total social alienation, was super apparent, super distinct. I still recall, decades later, feeling dizzy as these conversations really began to get going in earnest - even other people started to get uncomfortable with how the conversation was progressing- clearly, these trans women were not \"owning up\" well enough, because they're experiences were too different. This lead to a cis man and a cis woman loudly interrupting the conversation to remind trans femmes that they needed to be more \"serious\" about this, to the murmurs of agreement.\r\n It was simply unacceptable to them that the farce at the heart of this \"queer feminist exercise\" was innocently exposed as empty and false. It was irrelevant that the trans femme people there were taking it entirely seriously, were offering up lives full of fucked up shit on display for shared analysis, just having experiences that were fundamentally different- we needed to learn to ignore that, for safety, for everyone's sake. I wasn't the only one who walked away from that entire day feeling seriously disturbed. And guilty. And with no answers.\r\n\r\nHow deeply misguided that approach was would take years for me to process, but what made it most clear was simply taking to time to talk intentionally with other trans women about these narratives, about grappling with the serious complexities around the experience of the closet, about how traumatizing experiences and internalized perceptions were framed as the same as actual entitlement, about not knowing how to process these things before one is out, and about how these were insufficient for making sense of our lives, how we had seen the harm done to other women and whole communities by this being perpetuated, and broadening that conversation to include cis women in making sense of this, how much more willing many were to point out cis women and trans people who just had an agenda, who were just full of shit. Conversations like these have played out again and again, yet despite however much \"personal experiences\" count for making sense of the world, these ones don't. And they will always bring out whatever freshly out girl they have played into believing all of this uncritically as proof that this is all just some conspiracy\r\n\r\nThe main reasons \"trans women are male socialized\" discourse continues to exist is simple to understand: it perpetuates due to the benefits it brings. It is there for keeping trans women in a perpetual indebted dynamic and therefore subservient to any sort of coercion, as a means justifying and excusing abuse, as a means to dismiss caring about a life of trauma, to justify rendering trans women disposable, as an easy win to prop up \"community figures\" who thrive on finding new people to condemn, to always keep refocusing away from confronting the abuse of actual men to fixating on trans women (the whipping girl dynamic), to keep the \"good ones\" who bought in to this narrative secure in their place in community (for now), preventing the basic feminist autonomy that comes from being able to honestly and systematically reflect on your own experiences, preventing the formation of solidarity amongst cis and trans women, preventing solidarity emerging amongst trans women, to keep us always suspicious of each other, to keep the fractures between those who can and cannot access transition or passing or social assimilation or coming out, to keep us dependent. \r\n\r\nAll of which amounts to one central function: preventing the emergence of trans feminist consciousness",
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