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"id": "https://qoto.org/users/freeschool/statuses/112320346589319148",
"type": "Note",
"summary": "Relationships / Friendship Online: 99% can be good and then fails... Have you ever met the perfect communicator and then for some minor point it ends?",
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"published": "2024-04-23T11:41:16Z",
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"content": "<p>I want to solve this because it's such a shame people simple can't move to the next point and continue as they did for a while... and even has stopped projects,,,</p><p>Have you ever met the perfect communicator and then for some reason or minor point it all stops as communication?... (often some emotional thing or some ultimatum) </p><p>Sometimes it's clear, usually some etiquette thing or expectation, but from similar people it seems really strange why on internet of all places people trust but then suddenly don't trust when getting a bit closer to them or simply sharing the same stuf but more focussed between 2 people... (same way they have been with others)</p><p>To give some example I was talking anonymously with a person who respects privacy but then suddenly (I think because we were going to work more on something) they wanted to know where I come from and where I was born (lol)</p><p>This is one example more baffling as we mentioned in topics long before the whole bigtech or bad ways or dangers... so seems clear...<br />I know for others online it could be many things behind less often emails, like smaller etiquette like signing "best regards" or NOT mentioning their name in emails can get you trouble... 🤣 </p><p>My example was starting contact from 0 with similar person, knowledgable and happened over months of great talks and even audio recordings with their permission! (Imagine a person that can take all the YouTube video knowledge and give to you in 1 conversation like pure DMT into the brain) and then suddenly nothing because of an ultimatum or something like "being too close" as how I describe it...<br />Literally was said "I want to know who I'm talking to" and I was like <br />"All these months we did share everything else so can't you see all those things as well and continue, as well your own privacy type stuff in a different way for someone else, the same but slighting different to your privacy type stuff which is high in it's own way?"<br />(they just repeated their question over and over and in the end an ultimatum not to contact them without this... which I didn't give into and that was that".</p><p>I might release the audio for this as it was with their permission... but it's happening often I'm sure and a big hit to relationship or logic and trust from seemingly nothing (we are both good people so why we find such problems?)</p><p>It happens all across the board and all the time that I think you people know personally so that's why I'm asking you and collecting personally the logic / emotional intelligence over it.... (It's only for me). </p><p>It's seemingly not really logical or fair or I don't understand how someone similar can flip into this defensive mode suddenly... </p><p>I guess I could see they were like this from start but also with "I don't mean any harm" etc as their own motto I said I feel the same about and said prior (with explaining my situation etc) I don't get why people ditch people like this (other than learning themselves though you would think such high level see and even explain this to others!!!) and why they / we 2 people don't get to final steps of uniting is a bit beyond me.</p><p>Usually it's fear of trust like jumping off a ledge with someone like me who assures you they will catch you or that it's safe below, because the evidence, sharing and history together almost counts as 0 at the end point and not sure why!!...</p><p>Fascinating how we get to 99% or 99% rewarding communication and then might ditch over something small or seemingly big for the other - and then can't get past it using the 99% communication or previous 99% good times as memory... </p><p>Elephant seeing a mouse and thinking it's a big problem seems similar kind of metaphor... and then damages whole room / the relationship as a result of almost nothing...</p><p>Can you relate to any of this / share some light on it?</p><p><a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Relationship\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Relationship</span></a> <a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Friendship\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Friendship</span></a> <a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Mutuality\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Mutuality</span></a> <a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Solidarity\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Solidarity</span></a></p>",
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"en": "<p>I want to solve this because it's such a shame people simple can't move to the next point and continue as they did for a while... and even has stopped projects,,,</p><p>Have you ever met the perfect communicator and then for some reason or minor point it all stops as communication?... (often some emotional thing or some ultimatum) </p><p>Sometimes it's clear, usually some etiquette thing or expectation, but from similar people it seems really strange why on internet of all places people trust but then suddenly don't trust when getting a bit closer to them or simply sharing the same stuf but more focussed between 2 people... (same way they have been with others)</p><p>To give some example I was talking anonymously with a person who respects privacy but then suddenly (I think because we were going to work more on something) they wanted to know where I come from and where I was born (lol)</p><p>This is one example more baffling as we mentioned in topics long before the whole bigtech or bad ways or dangers... so seems clear...<br />I know for others online it could be many things behind less often emails, like smaller etiquette like signing "best regards" or NOT mentioning their name in emails can get you trouble... 🤣 </p><p>My example was starting contact from 0 with similar person, knowledgable and happened over months of great talks and even audio recordings with their permission! (Imagine a person that can take all the YouTube video knowledge and give to you in 1 conversation like pure DMT into the brain) and then suddenly nothing because of an ultimatum or something like "being too close" as how I describe it...<br />Literally was said "I want to know who I'm talking to" and I was like <br />"All these months we did share everything else so can't you see all those things as well and continue, as well your own privacy type stuff in a different way for someone else, the same but slighting different to your privacy type stuff which is high in it's own way?"<br />(they just repeated their question over and over and in the end an ultimatum not to contact them without this... which I didn't give into and that was that".</p><p>I might release the audio for this as it was with their permission... but it's happening often I'm sure and a big hit to relationship or logic and trust from seemingly nothing (we are both good people so why we find such problems?)</p><p>It happens all across the board and all the time that I think you people know personally so that's why I'm asking you and collecting personally the logic / emotional intelligence over it.... (It's only for me). </p><p>It's seemingly not really logical or fair or I don't understand how someone similar can flip into this defensive mode suddenly... </p><p>I guess I could see they were like this from start but also with "I don't mean any harm" etc as their own motto I said I feel the same about and said prior (with explaining my situation etc) I don't get why people ditch people like this (other than learning themselves though you would think such high level see and even explain this to others!!!) and why they / we 2 people don't get to final steps of uniting is a bit beyond me.</p><p>Usually it's fear of trust like jumping off a ledge with someone like me who assures you they will catch you or that it's safe below, because the evidence, sharing and history together almost counts as 0 at the end point and not sure why!!...</p><p>Fascinating how we get to 99% or 99% rewarding communication and then might ditch over something small or seemingly big for the other - and then can't get past it using the 99% communication or previous 99% good times as memory... </p><p>Elephant seeing a mouse and thinking it's a big problem seems similar kind of metaphor... and then damages whole room / the relationship as a result of almost nothing...</p><p>Can you relate to any of this / share some light on it?</p><p><a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Relationship\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Relationship</span></a> <a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Friendship\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Friendship</span></a> <a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Mutuality\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Mutuality</span></a> <a href=\"https://qoto.org/tags/Solidarity\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Solidarity</span></a></p>"
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