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to the server to view the underlying object.
{
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"litepub": "http://litepub.social/ns#",
"directMessage": "litepub:directMessage",
"Hashtag": "as:Hashtag"
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"id": "https://is-a.cat/users/madargon/statuses/112791387305200924",
"type": "Note",
"summary": "identity, legal names, negative emotions (long rant)",
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"published": "2024-07-15T16:13:06Z",
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"content": "<p>I wrote here few times about using term "legal <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/name\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>name</span></a>" instead of "real name". And how much I hate my surname, which binds me to my awful past. And how much I hate and despise Zuckerberg for forcing using legal names in the internet.</p><p>It seems like I found other term for this. "Forced name". Still more accurate than "real".</p><p>Some time ago I realized again I am so much unlucky that I am seemingly one last person in groups I regularly have contact with, who is called by her dumb legal name while they could use their chosen <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/nicknames\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>nicknames</span></a>. For few years I was able to ignore this pain and keep going but after some events this year (I don't want to reveal details here so my stupid legal name wouldn't leak here and taint this only comfy space) I somehow couldn't. </p><p>I started using term "worksona" unironically for my legal name identity. And with time passing, I realized, when I see my legal name written somewhere, it feels like reading about other person whom I don't like. Like I have to compete with her. And I want to defeat her so much.</p><p>Legal name for me is like uncomfortable suit I have to wear for work or for doing some formal stuff. And like stiff costume or dirty shoes I want to leave it near door when I come home. And currently, after that events, it became radioactive. It make me feel poisoned.</p><p>I don't have public online presence with that name after deleting LinkedIn. And I will protect my presence here against contamination with it. Even if I could "lose" few thing because of this.</p><p>Sometimes I think about taking a break from (most) social interactions so I wouldn't feel so poisoned. Like a detox.</p><p>I saw people who for some unknown reasons tried to know my legal surname if I didn't reveal it. They didn't need it for anything but dug for it... for what? For throwing this radioactive material at me and making me more upset?<br />(just... don't do it?)</p><p>I am still beating myself for too poor opsec to successfully hide it :/ Time to boost my shield in offline life too.</p><p>Maybe it's also my fault I didn't have one coherent online identity earlier, before I started to hang out with some groups. I want to "reset" this time and do it better.</p><p>I am surprised myself. Something was minor inconvenience for me for long time but suddenly it started eating me alive and making me sick.</p><p><a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/nickname\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>nickname</span></a> <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/names\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>names</span></a> <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/pseudonym\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>pseudonym</span></a> <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/identity\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>identity</span></a></p>",
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"en": "<p>I wrote here few times about using term "legal <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/name\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>name</span></a>" instead of "real name". And how much I hate my surname, which binds me to my awful past. And how much I hate and despise Zuckerberg for forcing using legal names in the internet.</p><p>It seems like I found other term for this. "Forced name". Still more accurate than "real".</p><p>Some time ago I realized again I am so much unlucky that I am seemingly one last person in groups I regularly have contact with, who is called by her dumb legal name while they could use their chosen <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/nicknames\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>nicknames</span></a>. For few years I was able to ignore this pain and keep going but after some events this year (I don't want to reveal details here so my stupid legal name wouldn't leak here and taint this only comfy space) I somehow couldn't. </p><p>I started using term "worksona" unironically for my legal name identity. And with time passing, I realized, when I see my legal name written somewhere, it feels like reading about other person whom I don't like. Like I have to compete with her. And I want to defeat her so much.</p><p>Legal name for me is like uncomfortable suit I have to wear for work or for doing some formal stuff. And like stiff costume or dirty shoes I want to leave it near door when I come home. And currently, after that events, it became radioactive. It make me feel poisoned.</p><p>I don't have public online presence with that name after deleting LinkedIn. And I will protect my presence here against contamination with it. Even if I could "lose" few thing because of this.</p><p>Sometimes I think about taking a break from (most) social interactions so I wouldn't feel so poisoned. Like a detox.</p><p>I saw people who for some unknown reasons tried to know my legal surname if I didn't reveal it. They didn't need it for anything but dug for it... for what? For throwing this radioactive material at me and making me more upset?<br />(just... don't do it?)</p><p>I am still beating myself for too poor opsec to successfully hide it :/ Time to boost my shield in offline life too.</p><p>Maybe it's also my fault I didn't have one coherent online identity earlier, before I started to hang out with some groups. I want to "reset" this time and do it better.</p><p>I am surprised myself. Something was minor inconvenience for me for long time but suddenly it started eating me alive and making me sick.</p><p><a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/nickname\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>nickname</span></a> <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/names\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>names</span></a> <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/pseudonym\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>pseudonym</span></a> <a href=\"https://is-a.cat/tags/identity\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>identity</span></a></p>"
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