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"id": "https://eldritch.cafe/users/ceruleanarc/statuses/110166745349027470",
"type": "Note",
"summary": "On the So-Called Ableism of Using \"Narcissism\" as a Term.",
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"published": "2023-04-09T03:32:09Z",
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"content": "<p>If you really think that using the word \"<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/narcissism\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>narcissism</span></a>\" is <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/ableist\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>ableist</span></a>, please watch this video:</p><p><a href=\"https://youtu.be/eISuc8v7B1M\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" translate=\"no\"><span class=\"invisible\">https://</span><span class=\"\">youtu.be/eISuc8v7B1M</span><span class=\"invisible\"></span></a></p><p>To summarize (<em>poorly</em>), the <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/research\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>research</span></a> is beginning to recognize that the <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/personality\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>personality</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/disorders\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>disorders</span></a>, as diagnoses, do those to whom they are applied more harm than good. Most <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/narcissists\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>narcissists</span></a> will never see a <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/therapist\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>therapist</span></a>, and they'll never be <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/diagnosed\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>diagnosed</span></a> with <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/NPD\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>NPD</span></a>. The people who <em>are</em> diagnosed with NPD are <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/vulnerable\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>vulnerable</span></a>, and it's possible they need a second opinion.</p><p>But the <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/ableism\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>ableism</span></a>? It's calling from inside the house.</p><p>Because if you're still convinced that saying \"<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/narcissistic\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>narcissistic</span></a>\" is ableist, then rather than shouting \"ableist\" at the top of your lungs to people who are <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/survivors\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>survivors</span></a> (and in some cases present <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/victims\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>victims</span></a>) of people who engage in narcissistic <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/behaviors\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>behaviors</span></a>, are the <em>most</em> likely to take your words seriously. They are the most likely to experience <em>worse</em> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/abuse\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>abuse</span></a> as a result of your disempowering them and silencing them.</p><p>Instead of <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/silencing\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>silencing</span></a> survivors, try to consider what words may be used <em>instead</em> of narcissism. It's not correct to say that \"narcissistic abuse\" is the same as <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/emotional\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>emotional</span></a> abuse. Narcissistic abuse may be a form of emotional abuse, but its insidiousness goes far beyond what most people who experience emotional abuse ever experience.</p><p>A lot of people who think of \"narcissism\" as an ableist term will eagerly call its users ableist without offering any alternative words that will allow them to speak about their specific type of suffering. So let Dr. <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/Ramani\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Ramani</span></a> do the work for you: Consider sharing the term \"<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/antagonistic\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>antagonistic</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/relationship\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>relationship</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/style\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>style</span></a>\" or, in lieu of \"narcissistic abuse,\" antagonistic <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/relational\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>relational</span></a> abuse, with those who you might otherwise re-<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/traumatize\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>traumatize</span></a> with your careless <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/social\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>social</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/justice\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>justice</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/barbarism\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>barbarism</span></a>.</p><p>Because silencing the survivors of abuse, many of whom have <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/PTSD\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>PTSD</span></a> from living with narcissistic (or antagonistic) persons, is the <em>real</em> ableism.</p><p><a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/psychology\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>psychology</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/socialJustice\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>socialJustice</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/mentalHealth\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>mentalHealth</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/stigma\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>stigma</span></a></p>",
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"en": "<p>If you really think that using the word \"<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/narcissism\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>narcissism</span></a>\" is <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/ableist\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>ableist</span></a>, please watch this video:</p><p><a href=\"https://youtu.be/eISuc8v7B1M\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"nofollow noopener noreferrer\" translate=\"no\"><span class=\"invisible\">https://</span><span class=\"\">youtu.be/eISuc8v7B1M</span><span class=\"invisible\"></span></a></p><p>To summarize (<em>poorly</em>), the <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/research\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>research</span></a> is beginning to recognize that the <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/personality\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>personality</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/disorders\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>disorders</span></a>, as diagnoses, do those to whom they are applied more harm than good. Most <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/narcissists\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>narcissists</span></a> will never see a <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/therapist\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>therapist</span></a>, and they'll never be <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/diagnosed\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>diagnosed</span></a> with <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/NPD\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>NPD</span></a>. The people who <em>are</em> diagnosed with NPD are <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/vulnerable\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>vulnerable</span></a>, and it's possible they need a second opinion.</p><p>But the <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/ableism\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>ableism</span></a>? It's calling from inside the house.</p><p>Because if you're still convinced that saying \"<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/narcissistic\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>narcissistic</span></a>\" is ableist, then rather than shouting \"ableist\" at the top of your lungs to people who are <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/survivors\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>survivors</span></a> (and in some cases present <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/victims\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>victims</span></a>) of people who engage in narcissistic <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/behaviors\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>behaviors</span></a>, are the <em>most</em> likely to take your words seriously. They are the most likely to experience <em>worse</em> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/abuse\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>abuse</span></a> as a result of your disempowering them and silencing them.</p><p>Instead of <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/silencing\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>silencing</span></a> survivors, try to consider what words may be used <em>instead</em> of narcissism. It's not correct to say that \"narcissistic abuse\" is the same as <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/emotional\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>emotional</span></a> abuse. Narcissistic abuse may be a form of emotional abuse, but its insidiousness goes far beyond what most people who experience emotional abuse ever experience.</p><p>A lot of people who think of \"narcissism\" as an ableist term will eagerly call its users ableist without offering any alternative words that will allow them to speak about their specific type of suffering. So let Dr. <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/Ramani\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Ramani</span></a> do the work for you: Consider sharing the term \"<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/antagonistic\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>antagonistic</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/relationship\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>relationship</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/style\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>style</span></a>\" or, in lieu of \"narcissistic abuse,\" antagonistic <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/relational\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>relational</span></a> abuse, with those who you might otherwise re-<a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/traumatize\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>traumatize</span></a> with your careless <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/social\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>social</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/justice\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>justice</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/barbarism\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>barbarism</span></a>.</p><p>Because silencing the survivors of abuse, many of whom have <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/PTSD\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>PTSD</span></a> from living with narcissistic (or antagonistic) persons, is the <em>real</em> ableism.</p><p><a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/psychology\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>psychology</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/socialJustice\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>socialJustice</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/mentalHealth\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>mentalHealth</span></a> <a href=\"https://eldritch.cafe/tags/stigma\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>stigma</span></a></p>"
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