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"content": "<p>Personal Reflections on Psychosis </p><p>I am a parent and caregiver for an adult child living with schizophrenia. She lives with some fixed delusions that she does not recognized as being unreal. Some authors use vivid dreams as an analogy to explain how real the experience of delusions is for those who live with them as symptoms of a psychotic disorder like schizophrenia. Anyone having a vivid dream knows it can seem real, and delusions can similarly seem entirely real to those who are fully awake and living with a psychotic disorder. This is something I think our legal system--police, -judges, attorneys, and jurors--do not entirely accept when interacting with persons who have medical conditions known as psychotic disorders, and the punitive consequences for them can be unfair and tragic. </p><p>I do not have a psychotic disorder, but I have occasionally experienced hypnogogic hallucinations--they are very brief periods of wakeful hallucinations that occur when one is on the edge of falling asleep. (Hypnopompic hallucinations are similar, but they occur briefly when one is on the edge of awakening.) I was relieved when my physician told me that neither hypnopompic nor hypnogogic hallucinations are associated with an increased risk of developing a psychotic disorder. When I have had a hypnogogic hallucination, seeing an intruder standing next to my bed or snakes in the sheets, I have awakened with a fight-or-flight response and the hallucination has instantly gone away. I typically have the experience when I have been under prolonged stress and sleep-deprivation. I think the experience gives me some extra insight, beyond the experience of vivid dreams, of what it is like to have a psychotic disorder. </p><p>I have also noticed that when I am in a particularly relaxed state of mind, after just awakening or just before going to sleep, I sometimes can see things with my mind's eye that I saw earlier in the day--a landscape where I went hiking, or a page of a book that I studied. When I have these mind's eye experiences, I wonder if they are like having a photographic memory and whether I could cultivate my ability to mentally visualize things after the fact by practicing. I also wonder about the accuracy of my mental imagery. But when I have those experiences, I do not stay there for long because of a fear they might increase my risk for a permanent break from reality. I do not know whether that is a genuine risk or not. But I am not taking any chances. My late father, a devout Catholic who had epilepsy, spoke of being able to have visual religious experiences. My mother convinced him to stop cultivating them because they scared her, and he did, probably after consulting a priest.</p><p><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Psychosis\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Psychosis</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Delusions\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Delusions</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Psychology\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Psychology</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Psychiatry\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Psychiatry</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Schizophrenia\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Schizophrenia</span></a></p>",
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"en": "<p>Personal Reflections on Psychosis </p><p>I am a parent and caregiver for an adult child living with schizophrenia. She lives with some fixed delusions that she does not recognized as being unreal. Some authors use vivid dreams as an analogy to explain how real the experience of delusions is for those who live with them as symptoms of a psychotic disorder like schizophrenia. Anyone having a vivid dream knows it can seem real, and delusions can similarly seem entirely real to those who are fully awake and living with a psychotic disorder. This is something I think our legal system--police, -judges, attorneys, and jurors--do not entirely accept when interacting with persons who have medical conditions known as psychotic disorders, and the punitive consequences for them can be unfair and tragic. </p><p>I do not have a psychotic disorder, but I have occasionally experienced hypnogogic hallucinations--they are very brief periods of wakeful hallucinations that occur when one is on the edge of falling asleep. (Hypnopompic hallucinations are similar, but they occur briefly when one is on the edge of awakening.) I was relieved when my physician told me that neither hypnopompic nor hypnogogic hallucinations are associated with an increased risk of developing a psychotic disorder. When I have had a hypnogogic hallucination, seeing an intruder standing next to my bed or snakes in the sheets, I have awakened with a fight-or-flight response and the hallucination has instantly gone away. I typically have the experience when I have been under prolonged stress and sleep-deprivation. I think the experience gives me some extra insight, beyond the experience of vivid dreams, of what it is like to have a psychotic disorder. </p><p>I have also noticed that when I am in a particularly relaxed state of mind, after just awakening or just before going to sleep, I sometimes can see things with my mind's eye that I saw earlier in the day--a landscape where I went hiking, or a page of a book that I studied. When I have these mind's eye experiences, I wonder if they are like having a photographic memory and whether I could cultivate my ability to mentally visualize things after the fact by practicing. I also wonder about the accuracy of my mental imagery. But when I have those experiences, I do not stay there for long because of a fear they might increase my risk for a permanent break from reality. I do not know whether that is a genuine risk or not. But I am not taking any chances. My late father, a devout Catholic who had epilepsy, spoke of being able to have visual religious experiences. My mother convinced him to stop cultivating them because they scared her, and he did, probably after consulting a priest.</p><p><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Psychosis\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Psychosis</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Delusions\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Delusions</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Psychology\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Psychology</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Psychiatry\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Psychiatry</span></a> <br /><a href=\"https://c.im/tags/Schizophrenia\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Schizophrenia</span></a></p>"
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