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"content": "<p>June 20, 2023 - Day 171 - NewPlay Review<br />Total NewPlays: 189</p><p>Game: Funk of Titans</p><p>Platform: Steam<br />Release Date: Jul 25, 2015<br />Library Date: Aug 4, 2022<br />Unplayed: 320d (10m16d)<br />Playtime: 20m</p><p>Funk of Titans is a sideways scrolling endless runner, and it's every bit as bad as it sounds.</p><p>For some reason, the ancient Greek Gods have been rendered as African Americans. Zeus seems to fall somewhere between Samuel L. Jackson and Morpheus.</p><p>You, as Perseus, appear to be an extra from a blaxploitation movie, in a yellow jacket and afro, yelling "shaka laka" and "oh yeah" over and over, giving the whole game a slightly racist tinge.</p><p>Then there's the "funk" of the soundtrack. The less said, the better. P-Funk, this is not.</p><p>This is a game that could make me hate platformers again. A sideways-scrolling-endless-runner-platformer where the only controls are jump or whack-with-sword.</p><p>You better time EVERYTHING just right, because three hits and you're dead.</p><p>Did I mention that each hit removes an item of Perseus' clothing, because... yeah, that's a thing.</p><p>However, if you're really lucky, you can find a Pegasus in each level, to get a bonus level where Pegasus is a rocket powered horsehead in some horrifying Flappy Bird mashup.</p><p>However, sometimes, you just need something to focus all your rage and anger onto, just to let it out and move past it.</p><p>Funk of Titans isn't even good for that. I have no idea how I ended up with this game, I only hope it was free with something else.</p><p>There is nothing redeeming about this game at all. While this is not the worst game I've played this year, it's really putting in the work.</p><p>Run away, as fast and as far as you can. Avoid Funk of Titans like an anti-vaxxer, because it's just:</p><p>1: Nope</p><p><a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/FunkOfTitans\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>FunkOfTitans</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/EndlessRunner\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>EndlessRunner</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/SidewaysScroller\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>SidewaysScroller</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/WhoAmIKiddingNoOneReadsTheHashtags\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>WhoAmIKiddingNoOneReadsTheHashtags</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/ThisGameSucks\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>ThisGameSucks</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/MastodonGaming\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>MastodonGaming</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/Gaming\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Gaming</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/Project365ONG\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Project365ONG</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/Project365\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Project365</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/NewPlay\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>NewPlay</span></a></p>",
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"en": "<p>June 20, 2023 - Day 171 - NewPlay Review<br />Total NewPlays: 189</p><p>Game: Funk of Titans</p><p>Platform: Steam<br />Release Date: Jul 25, 2015<br />Library Date: Aug 4, 2022<br />Unplayed: 320d (10m16d)<br />Playtime: 20m</p><p>Funk of Titans is a sideways scrolling endless runner, and it's every bit as bad as it sounds.</p><p>For some reason, the ancient Greek Gods have been rendered as African Americans. Zeus seems to fall somewhere between Samuel L. Jackson and Morpheus.</p><p>You, as Perseus, appear to be an extra from a blaxploitation movie, in a yellow jacket and afro, yelling "shaka laka" and "oh yeah" over and over, giving the whole game a slightly racist tinge.</p><p>Then there's the "funk" of the soundtrack. The less said, the better. P-Funk, this is not.</p><p>This is a game that could make me hate platformers again. A sideways-scrolling-endless-runner-platformer where the only controls are jump or whack-with-sword.</p><p>You better time EVERYTHING just right, because three hits and you're dead.</p><p>Did I mention that each hit removes an item of Perseus' clothing, because... yeah, that's a thing.</p><p>However, if you're really lucky, you can find a Pegasus in each level, to get a bonus level where Pegasus is a rocket powered horsehead in some horrifying Flappy Bird mashup.</p><p>However, sometimes, you just need something to focus all your rage and anger onto, just to let it out and move past it.</p><p>Funk of Titans isn't even good for that. I have no idea how I ended up with this game, I only hope it was free with something else.</p><p>There is nothing redeeming about this game at all. While this is not the worst game I've played this year, it's really putting in the work.</p><p>Run away, as fast and as far as you can. Avoid Funk of Titans like an anti-vaxxer, because it's just:</p><p>1: Nope</p><p><a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/FunkOfTitans\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>FunkOfTitans</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/EndlessRunner\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>EndlessRunner</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/SidewaysScroller\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>SidewaysScroller</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/WhoAmIKiddingNoOneReadsTheHashtags\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>WhoAmIKiddingNoOneReadsTheHashtags</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/ThisGameSucks\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>ThisGameSucks</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/MastodonGaming\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>MastodonGaming</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/Gaming\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Gaming</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/Project365ONG\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Project365ONG</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/Project365\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>Project365</span></a> <a href=\"https://aus.social/tags/NewPlay\" class=\"mention hashtag\" rel=\"tag\">#<span>NewPlay</span></a></p>"
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